The Beat Goes On

I just had the post-mortem on our failed match and we got all the details on what money we're getting back and what money we may never see again. That's the crappy part. But on one hand, if we would have pursued any advanced infertility treatments (IVF specifically), we probably would have wasted so much more money in a single try and still be without a baby. It's bothering Bill much more than me. I think I've accepted it. I mean, what else can we do?

We talked about all the events that lead up to this point and tried to see the big picture. We both came to the conclusion that realistically, they probably changed their minds, or at least started to question their decision before the birth, and they don't want to have to say it and upset anyone. The other "issues" were probably just good things to place "blame" instead of having to be honest that they've had a change of heart. Really, we will probably never know.

As I have said, everything works out in the end. I have said my peace, I wished them well. There is nothing I would have done or said differently if I had to do this all over as I believe it was the right thing to do. With our next match, I will probably stay a little more guarded but every social worker said that we were the best adoptive parents and we shouldn't change a thing. If it's the right situation, God will be there to make it happen.

So we wait. Really, I hope we're waiting a little longer this time. Last time we were active for a week and a day when we got "The Call". Very outside the norm! The good thing is our profile has already gone out twice today and we were just put back on active status yesterday afternoon. Our social worker is going to send out a note to all her peeps that we're back on the market. And so life resumes and now I want to go on vacation!!!!