Bill Says....

Don't sweat the small stuff because it's ALL small stuff!

Yeah well, I'm trying very hard to subscribe to that theory. I know the month ahead will be hard on me, on Bill, on H, our family, her family, everybody. It just will. And no one can predict what the outcome will be until it's actually happened.

I called H yesterday. I completely expected her not to answer her phone, although I hoped she would! She didn't so I got to talk to the voicemail. I said it was nice to have talked to her on Wednesday, Bill and I are looking forward to meeting her in person and giving her a big hug. Then I proceeded to say that she didn't need to call me back, I just wanted to say a quick "hi" and if I don't talk to her until next week, that I hope she has a wonderful weekend.

So with that, I hung up. And then I started questioning whether or not I addressed her by H (which I'm sure I did) or if I called her Nicole because I was in the middle of sending one of my girlfriends an email. It is driving me nuts. The next time I do talk to her, I will have to ask and I can make light of myself because I'm human. Guess my crazy Jenn time has started. I can put on a great face but inside everything is going nuts. H hasn't called me back.... I shouldn't be disappointed because I didn't ask her to. I will probably call again later next week and hopefully we can chat a bit. It's small stuff, right?

I'm feeling a bit guilty sharing the news of the latest match with our family. I know they are very happy for us and they would want to know what is going on in our lives, but I recognize that this journey is a rollercoaster for them too. How much is too much? How much good and bad news do we spring on them and make them deal with? The hardest thing I ever had to do was tell my mom on that sad Thursday morning that D and G kept the baby and we had nothing. She was so upset, probably because she knew how much I was hurting. I remember telling Bill that he needed to call his mom and I was sorry but he was going to have to tell her. I just could not do it again that day.

I know that some people choose not to tell their families until they are 100% they have the baby, which means they are probably already at home by then. Could you imagine getting that phone call?? That would be a hard thing to keep to myself, I'll tell you that. I think our families would not be happy if we kept that kind of thing from them. Our parents and siblings have been absolutely amazing - we are so very lucky. They have supported us 100% through thick and thin, good and bad. I just know we are in some ways dragging them along behind us.

It's interesting how your perceptions change as you get closer and closer to being a parent yourself. It's not an easy job!!

Not much on the "to do" list this weekend.... I have one baby carrier to finish, and another to start and finish. A box of "new to me" baby clothes arrived that I want to wash. Probably not a bad idea to start throwing things in the little suitcase and make a list of what we will need to buy when we get to where we are going.

I know we are going to get one of those in the middle of the night phone calls! H told me that her first son was 2 days late, 12 hours of labor, next son was 1 day early, 5 hours of labor. Hmmmm... when are things going to go crazy??? I really doubt we will make it there for the birth, there are no plans to induce unless she seriously goes beyond her due date. We're just along for the ride!