Mornings

I usually wake up in the mornings with Biscuit laying on me... not just by me, but ON me. I've gotten used to it over the last few years! Thank goodness she weighs less than 70 pounds! Bill laughs that she uses my behind for a pillow. It's better than her using my real pillow as a pillow. I just say that Biscuit is my personal space heater and we need each other.

It's hard to describe the feelings of the last week when I realize first thing in the morning that I've been woken up by my alarm clock and not by my cell phone with a middle-of-the-night call. It's really a let down. Maybe I'm getting myself too worked up when going to bed saying "Maybe this will be the night!". I don't know how NOT to do it. I don't know how to not think about all of it.

HOLY SHRIMP! I took a break after that last sentence to get a drink.... and my phone rang. It was H... NO labor yet! She wanted to call and apologize for not calling me back sooner, but she is just not a big talking-on-the-phone person. She is not feeling well, nesting like crazy, and doing what she can to get through the next days. I can certainly understand that. She was also afraid of disturbing me.... yeah, right!!!

H's doctor's appointment was yesterday and she is still at 2cm. No change from last week, with no change in sight as she says. Believe me, she is way more disappointed than we are! Her next appointment is on Monday.

I admitted that I was struggling with how much to call her and I want to give her the space that she needs. I'd rather show her that I am human and that I sometimes don't know what I am doing! She said she doesn't need space, this is just how she is! She also said that we do not know each other very well, so it's a little strange at times. I asked her what plans she and the boys had for Halloween tomorrow. I know that I can always "hear" a smile from her when I ask about them.

H said she thinks about Bill and I often and she is so very excited for us. I said we think of her a lot too, hence my problem with wanting to call her all the time! She said hopefully the next time she calls me, it will be from the hospital! Sounds good to me! I offered if she was more comfortable calling her social worker, L, that I won't be upset if she wants to call her first. H said no way, she wants to call me first for sure and I can tell L. Great! Things sound like they are going just as planned, I am so thankful. I am go grateful she called and renewed my spirit.

So tick tock.... time is going much slower for H than me I know. She is watching a ton of TV. I'm going to see if I can finish my magazine project!