Crib Fabric

Bill and Jon went to Indiana for the Indianapolis 500. They had a great time and we have requested tickets for next year already. They had some rain but the weather was very nice. I had a great time at my parent's house! Biscuit was invited to come with me and she was on her very best behavior the whole time. My dad played with her constantly over the weekend and she thought the grapefruit on the ground in the backyard were all balls to play with! She'd pick them up and get a big mouthful of surprise but she loved it.

My mom and I picked out all the fabric for the crib bedding and she gave me a few peices to put in the journal that I am keeping for Little Roo. I think it is going to look great! We also picked out some polka dots fabric to make the diaper stacker and a organizer from but she hadn't cut that out before I left so I don't have that material.



I picked up some pink paisley fabric to make my own mei tai with. I haven't gotten started on it yet, but I think it will turn out great. I'm completely in love with the fabric and it's perfectly girly! I'm also going to make some portable changing pads for the diaper bag and I found some decorator remnants to make some more bags out of. I need something to keep me busy for the next 7 weeks or so!

D called me yesterday to tell me how her last doctor's appointment went. She said she is getting huge and is enjoying just floating around in the pool every night after work. It helps take the weight off because she feels so awkward. The baby is gaining weight. I'm also starting to realize how much stuff we still need to get done!

D said "This may sound like the weirdest thing ever to someone that doesn't understand this, but I am so excited for you that you are finally getting a baby! I can't wait!" I understand it perfectly but I guess it does seem very strange from the outside. D sees herself in a surrogate role. She feels she is giving us this very important gift. I am so blessed to know this amazing couple. I make it a point to tell them all the time how grateful we are. I am trying to enjoy every minute of this journey, with all the ups and downs. Adoption is so much harder than I thought it would be but it is so worth it. It has made me a stronger person, it has made Bill and I a stronger couple. It will make me a better mom!

Names

Well D did call! She's getting to be very predictable!! I love being able to talk to her a few times a week and sometimes we don't talk about the baby at all. We're just two girls who have a lot of things to talk about! I'm sure that she is concerned that our conversations will end after the baby is born but I hope they don't. I never want her to feel like I want her to go away after we take the baby home. That is not fair. I can imagine that she might need some space after the birth and I will understand and respect her feelings. I have told her that we will always be connected and she will always have us to call. I will let her know that her and G are important to us but we will let them decide how much phone contact they want with us. We don't want to make anything more difficult for them and they may choose less contact. We will have to be OK with that.

D wanted to know if we had picked a name for the baby. She told me that her and G do not want to name her. I think they are trying hard to not form too many emotional attachments to the child. I told her what we were planning on naming Little Roo and I think she liked it. I would have liked to see the expression on her face, just as I'm sure she would have liked to have seen my face when she said "You are having a little girl!" but that's not always possible. I explained that Little Roo will have two birth certificates. The first will have D and G's name on it and their name for the baby, if they choose one. The second one will be issued after finalization and will have my and Bill's name on it and Little Roo's name. I assured her that they wouldn't be erased from the birth certificate and I think she needed to know that. So perhaps they will choose to use our name that we picked for Little Roo to save confusion down the road. If they decide to choose a special name for her, that will be great too. We will have to wait and see.

D is going to have a c-section. We've known that, we've talked about it a few times. That is why I hope they are moved back here again (which they are still planning) because I know she will have good care. She asked me what I wanted to do at the hospital. Me??? My dear, you are the one having a baby! I told her that we can make a plan together of what she wants and we will go with that. I also said if she decides now that she wants us there at the hospital a lot, spending time with them and the baby together but then changes her mind when it is actually happening, that is OK. We will not be upset or angry and that we will understand that emotions are running high and we will give her the space that she needs. I said she will only be able to take one person with her to hold her hand and talk to her while the c-section is being done. She said "I'm not going to be awake!!" So maybe no one will be there with her if she is completely knocked out!

Technically there are 80 days left until D's due date. I can only assume that they are going to schedule her earlier than that. How much earlier, I don't know? She has a doctor's appointment this Friday and promised to let me know how it goes. I did tell D that if she went into labor anytime between now and whenever, we'd be on our way to her in a hurry. She liked that. I don't think she realized that we would drop everything to come be with her. Speaking of which... must talk to grandparents-to-be about taking Biscuit if the situation arises.

D and G are out on second interviews for jobs this afternoon. D is working part-time because one, she said she is getting huge, and two, G won't let her work full-time! I talked to G today too and he assured me he is taking very good care of her. He's not letting her lift anything or do anything remotely strenuous. He cooks for her and makes sure her diet is healthy. He is very sweet - they are so good together!

Happy Birthday to D!!

We are thinking of you and we hope you are having a wonderful day! Please call soon!!

12 Weeks To Go!

28 weeks down, 12 weeks (or less) left to go!!!

According to the pregnancy calendar....

Week Twenty-Eight

• Eyebrows and eyelashes are now very noticeable!
• Hair on baby's head is growing longer. Some babies are born with almost none at all, while others appear to be ready for their first haircut!
• Eyes are completely formed now. Quite a view from inside!
• Your baby's body is getting plump and rounded. Most of that increase is muscle tissue and bone. Fat will be added during the third trimester.
• Muscle tone is improving. Preparation for the Olympics feels like it is taking place in your womb!
• Lungs are capable of breathing now (but baby would still struggle and require medical attention if born now)
• Talk to your baby often, reading stories, singing songs and more. He or she can recognize your voice now and will often calm to it later on!
• Your baby weighs in now at 2.2 pounds (1005gm) and is 14.8 inches (37.6cm).

D called yesterday to say that she and G are settled in with family in the north of the state. She is already homesick but she is going to look for a job to help pass the time. The cell phone that they had here is no longer working up there and this is another unexpected thing that they are dealing with and will probably end up getting a new phone. So now I can't call her anytime I want! That's OK, because she ends up calling me when she needs to and we're talking about 2 times a week.

We've come a long way since the very beginning of the match - 11 weeks ago! It has gone pretty quick looking back on this journey so far. This is pretty much the half-way point if there are 11 to 12 weeks left to go. D wasn't sure she was ready to meet us at the beginning, even talking over the phone, and now we are talking pretty regularly. I think she trusts me and knows that I try to understand. I don't tell her what to do, I don't get in her business, I just listen and be supportive.

In some ways, I am jealous when I know people are getting matched and the baby is due fairly soon. We were matched very early and this has given me way too much time to worry about D and G changing their minds. However, we are very lucky to have this time together - to get to know each other better. I worry about her having the baby up there, but we will deal with that if that time comes. We'll just jump in the car and go! All I can tell her is that we think of her and G every day and we only want the best for them. We are so grateful for what they are doing for us.

Today starts the first day of a week of pager days. Ugh - that makes me cranky. Next weekend Bill and Jon are going to Indianapolis for the 500 and to visit Bill's grammy. I am headed off to my parent's house with Biscuit. Looking forward to it!! I have already told Biscuit she has to be on her very very very best behavior or she will never be invited back!

Happy Tears!

D called me yesterday afternoon. She said she wanted to wish me the happiest Mother's Day ever and wished she could give me a great big hug!!

She said she had wanted to call me on Sunday but with all the packing, time got away from her. I told her that I had thought about her all day and wanted to call her, but I second guessed myself and obviously did not. She understood. She also told me that plans had changed a bit and they are staying with family in the north part of the state for 6 weeks. They are going to save as much money as possible so they can buy a place for themselves when they are ready to come back here this summer. D will call me in a few days to let me know they are settled in.

I kept it together until I got off the phone, I was just so happy to hear from her. Then it sank in what had just happened and I melted. I can't believe how thoughtful and strong she is. She truly touched my heart. I called Bill, still crying, and said "D just called me." Ummmm, probably not the best thing to do... he thought something very bad had happened!

I feel like the luckiest woman alive!

Mother's Day Weekend!

My parents sent me the cutest little card because I am a mommy-to-be! It was the sweetest thing ever! Of course we are seeing both our mothers this weekend and have great goodies to give out. Thanks Mom for all you do!!!

Little Roo is 27 weeks today. There is much discussion about when the third trimester actually begins. Some say 27 weeks, some say 28 weeks. I'm voting for 28 weeks, so there's another week to go!

According to the pregnancy calendar...

Week Twenty-Seven

• Your little one's brain continues its rapid growth. Don't forget to share music, conversation, and even books with your baby!
• Response to sound grows more consistent toward the end of the seventh month, when the network of nerves to the ear is complete. Your baby's hearing continues to develop, he or she may start to recognize your voice as well as your partner's.
• Lungs continue to grow and prepare for functioning outside of the womb. Each day in the womb greatly increases survival rates!
• He also continues to take small breaths and although he's only breathing in water and not air, it's still good practice for when he's born.
• Eyelids are now open more. Your baby can distinguish between light and dark. Retinas have formed.
• Your baby will grow over ½ inch this week alone! You may suspect this phenominal growth rate repeats in the preteen years!
• Average size is now 14.4 inches (36.6cm) and 1.9 pounds (875gm).

I touched base with our social worker today and she has been hearing that things are going well through D's social worker. She knew that we had met for lunch and told me again that everyone thinks we have a great match. I had some questions regarding travel, the letters and pictures agreement, and the amount of money that we are planning on for gifts for D and G at the birth. She said Florida law is pretty liberal regarding these gifts.... we can't give them a new car or anything like that but jewelry is not a problem. We're not planning on giving any diamonds here, so we are in the clear.

This is my latest favorite thing to give to D. I think it's a keeper. I had a lot of ideas but I knew that I wouldn't be able to really decide until I saw her in person. This would look so pretty on her and I think it is very sweet. I want one too!!! It can have so many different meanings so I don't think she would be worried about wearing it and getting asked questions about what it means.

Now I need to figure out what to give G. Buying things for guys is always so much harder!!! Our social worker gave me a few ideas to think about.

Mixed Emotions

I should title this "Mixed Emotions, Part 1" because I KNOW that it will be up and down for a long time. Some days I'm up for it, some days I'm not.

We had a rush of unexpected emotions come up after our lunch meeting on Friday. As wonderful it was to meet D and G in person and as much as we prepared ourselves for these possible confusing feelings, it was still a bit of a shock to actually feel them. The birth parents are real, the baby is real, and a lot of that reality just came rushing in at once.

We recognize that we are going to laugh with them and eventually cry with them and watch them grieve for the loss of their daughter. My heart breaks for them because we know how much they love their child and I am reallly trying to put myself in their shoes. It is not a day that I am looking forward to even though it will be the day that she begins her life as our daughter.

I wish that I could skip over all that, but that's not possible. This is part of the process and it is something we must do.

D and G are going through a rough patch with their jobs and living situation. In the last few days they have bounced from one place to another and now they are on their way out of town for a few weeks to stay with some family. Needless to say, this caught me by surprise, but I can understand that they felt like they had no where else to go. It's not like they are going to call us for help. D called and said that they were going out of town for a while and she didn't sound upset at all, so perhaps this is a good thing for them right now. I will continue to keep in touch with her on the phone and just keep it cool like all along. Her social worker asked her questions and D assured her that they were only going for a few weeks and then coming back well before the baby is due. She is still planning on delivering here.

I don't want to worry. All I can say to D and G is that I hope they have a good visit and they know how to find us when they want to talk. I'll continue to do what I've always done by keeping in touch every week or two just to see how they are doing and to let them know we are thinking of them. I can't imagine what it feels like to ask myself "Oh geez, what are we going to do now?" Please keep them in your thoughts and prayers.

Lunch Today!

We're back from lunch!

Here she is....

and that was even taken back on March 20th, so it's a little old!

Lunch was great, exactly what I had hoped for. It didn't feel weird at all really. No strange moments where we all sat around and stared off into space! It was nice to have the social worker there and she told me as we were leaving that she thought everything went very well.

D loved all the little goodies that I had put together for her and my florist did a beautiful arrangement of 6 purple roses in a vase with a big purple ribbon. I should have taken a picture of it - it was very pretty. D said her favorite color is purple so I did good! They took our photo album home with them so they could look at it more and they gave us 4 sonogram pictures.

Little Roo is going to be a beautiful baby - both her parents are very cute with dark hair and brown eyes. They both look a lot like Bill's side of the family! The plan is to get together about once a month until the baby is born.

I am very pleased... we all got along very well. I am not concerned about meeting up with them without the social worker as we have a lot of things in common. They were just so warm and open, I hope that they got the same impression of us!

Double Digits!

I have a ticker on one of my circles groups.... today it says 99 days left until Little Roo is due!! Hooray!!

Tomorrow is the big meeting! I have the photos in an album ready to go and the captions done in case they take it home with them. I found a very pretty bag to put all the goodies in. I'll be picking up some flowers tomorrow and then it is off to lunch! I'm excited, a little nervous. Bill is a lot nervous.

... to Mike and Paula!!!! They purchased a new house today!!!!

Countdown to Lunch!

The big lunch meeting is on Friday! "D" called me this morning to confirm that we are still coming. Of course we are!! She said she is really looking forward to it. I can't wait - I am taking all of Friday off. I can use a day off work for sure!

I am having a bunch of photos printed that I am going to bring with us to share. They have only seen the few that were selected for the family profile and I think they would like to see more of our home and families. I have to go pick up those today along with a little photo book. If she wants to take it with her, that's perfectly fine. Maybe I'll be able to find one that has space for some captions - who knows what the store has. I haven't been shopping for anything like this in a while.

I put together a L'Occitane travel bag with hand cream, foot cream, soap, and a small tin of shea butter. I'll see what else I can find - I really don't want to go overboard. I also plan on getting some flowers on Friday morning so they are nice and fresh!

Only a few more days.... I can't wait!!