Can I say how happy I am that the daylight savings time change has come and gone??? I was on pager for work this weekend and it was pretty rough. All of our servers got new vendor patches pushed at the last minute and we had to report how the systems were after that. Then we had to wait until the next night to report how our servers were doing once the time had officially changed. My sleep cycle is all screwed up from staying up every night until 3-4am testing and then with the missing hour yesterday, I'm a mess! It was so dark this morning... blah. Nice that it is going to stay lighter for longer in the evening. I always have this problem with the time change and my body will eventually get used to it!
Karen brought me the rest of her Dr. Brown's bottles and the cutest Eeyore toy ever on Friday. THANK YOU!!!! We are completely ready for feeding!
The big cleanout continues! I got tons of work done on the nursery, mostly on Saturday when I had a lot of mean energy to burn worrying about the DST change. Underneath the bed is all cleaned out - I found my Lady and the Tramp picture that my mom had made back in 1981... it is now hanging in the baby's room and looks perfect! I've left the bed in the same place. It could be moved closer to one wall if we need to once we have a crib in the room too. I cleaned out the closet and it is all nice and organized. I was even able to get the baby swing and the Baby Einstein play mat in there and out of the way. The glider and foot stool have also been moved into the room, but it's in the corner where the crib will eventually go but for now, it is out of the family room. I put a throw and a stuffed bear on it, so it's all cute looking!
The bookshelf in the corner was moved to the opposite side of the room so there is room for a crib now. The bookshelf now has books and stuffed animals on it. I had to move over the dresser a tad, just so it didn't all look so squished together. The dresser is my biggest accomplishment. It only has baby stuff in it now, all organized and tidy. Top left drawer has the waterproof changing pads and the tube of Mustela diaper cream. Top right drawer has all the baby bottle parts (nipples, vents, collars, brushes) until they need to be moved into the kitchen for use. Middle left drawer has clothes separated into nightgowns, onsies, and rompers. Middle right drawer has socks, hats, pacifiers, rattles, and supplies for the diaper bag. Bottom left drawer has all the blankets including the wool baby blanket we bought in Ireland many moons ago when we thought having a baby was going to be oh so easy. Bottom right drawer has some toys. I'll probably move those into the closet because they are for an older child once I need more room for clothes or whatever.
I also cleaned out and organized our linen closet. Yikes!!! Who knew we had so much of that stuff??? We also did a few test runs with the car seat in Bill's new car. As much as I would love to put the baby in the center of the back seat, I cannot get the install tight enough to minimize the side-to-side rocking. Since it has leather seats and a hump in the middle section and the fact that we have to use the lap/shoulder seat belt, it just doesn't seem like a winning combination. LATCH is not approved to be used with the car seat in the middle position. The LATCH install on the outboard position is rock solid. The center of the backseat is theoretically the safest location, but an outboard position will be safer only because I can get a better install there.
D's social worker called me this morning. Unfortunately D has still not checked in with her so we don't know if she went to her OB appointment last Tuesday or not. The social worker sent D a letter in the mail in case she is not able to get the phone messages that have been left. The letter basically says that Bill and I accepted the match and we can move forward with a meeting when she is ready. I told the social worker that we have been trying very hard not to read into the situation of her being MIA.... and really it has only been a little over a week! I have not been calling the social worker on the phone because I know that the she will call and tell me the news as she knows it. Me calling her all the time isn't going to change anything and I think she appreciates that I'm not being a huge PITA!
Maybe D needs to take some time for herself to know in her heart that this is the right thing for them to do. I know she loves her baby, that is very evident on all the papers that she filled out. I hope she gets the letter today and it reminds her that her social worker wants to talk about how she is doing and what she is feeling. I can imagine that she has far worse concerns on her mind. I try to remind myself that she is not even half way through with her pregnancy and there is no rush here. She is not due next week! She is living her own life.
I am praying for patience and a renewed sense of hope. I am praying for D and the baby. I am praying that she has the support she needs around her because I cannot do that for her yet. I envisioned that each step of the adoption process would be easier than the last, but that is not really the case. First I was worried that something would go wrong with our homestudy. Then I was worried that our profile wasn't good enough and we wouldn't get matched. Now that we are matched, it is much more real that D can change her mind and parent the baby herself. I waver on my confidence level every day. I probably won't stop worrying until I know all the papers are signed and the baby is leaving the hospital with us. With the story of the kidnapped (and returned) newborn in Texas, that is just praying on my insecurities even more! There is absolutely nothing we can do but wait and let this journey play out how it is meant to. If this is our child, Little Roo will come home with us when he or she is good and ready.
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